Tag Archives: Smokey

Eulogy for a dog

I have to just go ahead and post this…(this has sucked the life out of June/July)…

I wrote this the last day of May (but didn’t get round to posting it), after our best friend had been missing six weeks. As we were to learn later, May 31 was shortly after he would have actually died.  The awful circumstances of his death were far worse than I had imagined….(explained end of post).

Eulogy to the most beautiful Dog

I’m beginning to accept that he is gone for good.  Dead, somehow, somewhere.  Not just lost, misplaced, but lost, gone.

Devastating doesn’t really cover it.
It’s a terrible loss; he’s missing, everywhere, everything I do, since I used to do everything with him.
I haven’t really yet felt any grief.
I get to keep thinking, “but he’s so beautiful and friendly, maybe he’s ingratiated himself into someone else’s life and he’s fine. Someday he’ll escape and come back, or not.”  I want to believe that he’s fine, moving on to another phase of life that is hopefully comfortable for him.

So far his dog’s life was a hard, difficult life, thrice rescued/rejected as unmanageable, and  we did a good job with him, slowly. He was such a mental case at first that the first several, miserable (why did you want a dog?) months were just managing and controlling him, to establish his place as a dog.  At the end, it was getting interesting, once we were mutually attached and he was content and secure in his place, teachable and proud of learning.   We had come to a really good place with him.  He earned some trust by being obedient and predictable, and he was much much calmer.

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Better dog

He was the mixed feeling dog for a long time.

For months, our primary feeling about him was What were we thinking?

IMGP8282Closely followed by It’s a good thing he’s cute.

He was pretty troubled when we got him, a huge handful, and he introduced himself by killing one of my chickens.  It was a bad beginning and it didn’t really improve.

Any progress was swiftly followed by equally dramatic backsliding.

Oh, and the porcupines!  He couldn’t get enough of them, and usually had uncanny timing for hitting a particularly hard day, late return home, or only one of us home for the night.

But HW persevered (I washed my hands of him around the three month mark- “He’s your dog now.  I’ll dogsit by prearrangement”).

And this winter, the dog turned a corner from trying dog (very very trying), to good reasonable dog.  2015-03-18 17.23.31He settled down, as though he’s finally adjusted. He knows what to expect from each day, and what we expect from him.  Now he’s content and relaxed dog.  A big upgrade from psychoses potpourri dog.  (Finally).  It’s been nearly a year.

He actually gives us more pleasure than grief now, which is saying something.

He’s always been funny, but a dog needs to be really funny to compensate for being such a case for so long.

But now, we see flat-ear dog smiles all day, and we adore him right back.  He’s HW’s constant sidekick.

Thankfully, he was always decent at running alongside a bicycle, because this dog is made for mileage.

Getting brushed