I’ve started a Happiness Project. This has nothing to do with the new year, by the way, although it might have something to do with winter. I’ve had a stretch of a scary bad time, so I figured it was time to recruit my natural list-making and determination selves for some change.
I pulled out Gretchen Rubin’s popular The Happiness Project for reference, and ended up reading it again. It seemed more enlightening this time, and I found useful things that I didn’t remember seeing the first time. For one thing, I’m married now, which makes a lot of her tips and experience in her marriage more relevant.
My husband has this amazing facility for change. It seems that all it takes for him to make lasting behavioural changes is to notice and decide he wants to change it. Much later I’ll notice that he doesn’t do that thing anymore. He doesn’t write down intentions, make daily review sheets or success charts. This amazes me, because I can’t imagine doing such a thing without paperwork. This is where The Happiness Project really sings to me. The whole plan is detailed and ultra-specific, she values the organization of physical environment to support goals, and everything revolves around a list.
That’s no exaggeration. The book is really a riot of lists upon lists nested in lists, a perfect comfort for a certain type of person who’s into that, like me. For example: Resolutions (for example Sing in the Morning, Pursue a Passion), 12 Commandments (like Identify the Problem and Enjoy the Process), Secrets of Adulthood (like People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry, and If you can’t find something, clean up), True Rules (such as Whenever possible, choose vegetables), and Four Splendid Truths (The days are long, but the years are short). Since they’re all sort of rules, intentions, or resolutions, they get confusing, barring the Splendid Truths, which are more philosophic Principles of happiness. In fact, now there are 8 Splendid Truths.
Also, as she discovers over her year, the most important key to success was her Daily Resolution Chart. I’ve known that for a while. Reminding oneself of the goal, and some act of acknowledging when you succeed (like checking off a list, or writing down “celebrations”) tells a deeper part of your mind that that is what you want; that is the direction you want to change. Then your sub-mind can easily create more of it.
I found that during the project design phase, I found that the things I wanted to do sifted into two categories: vague intentions, such as to be nicer, say no less, and be healthy; and completable goals, like write a book. In the second category, you know when you’ve done it. Continue reading My Happiness Project